No matter how good you are at something or how bad you are at it, there will always be criticism. We all must admit that criticism is a good thing but this article is more about the kind of criticism that destroys instead of building. The kind of criticism that makes success harder to achieve and the kind of criticism that takes the power outside of us even when our success is warranted. As the old phrase says “the first person you have to stand and be motivated by is yourself” and as I am all about keeping the momentum and stay with a good attitude -no matter what- I give you 5 ways to stay motivated.
FIRST, WHY ARE YOU BEING CRITICIZED?
There are in fact to types of critics, the one who is looking to build you and the one who reflects their own issues on you. Beware of the last one as most people live their lives on social or personal concepts or past experiences that are mostly negatives. Ask if this opinion matters. There is a huge difference between a person who has an experience or a connection with you when they criticize you and people who come to talk just because, well, they want to talk.
Mostly we must look up to people who want to build us in a good positive way that people who want to bring us down with their comments. As Brené Brown says on her TED “Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count”, we must “reserve a seat” for the critics and our own self-doubt. “Tell them, I see you, I hear you, but I’m going to do this anyway.”
One hard truth about achieving goals -whatever the goal is- is that we are not going to get it at first. Many times we are going to be almost there and fail. Fail again and fail better. That is just normal and we all must be used to the fail fact on the success equation. But when we fail we tend to justify, like failure is a bad thing that needs to be explained.
We need to understand that on the way to success there is no magic pill for everyone, we all make our kind of “success recipe”, there will be a time when you think about have done things differently. Only you know what you have to do and why you are doing it so it’s going to be really hard for people to be on your shoes and understand completely why you did this or that. So at the end of the day, do what you have to do.
“Tell them, I see you, I hear you,
but I’m going to do this anyway.“
The goal is the goal. It’s the ultimate prize, so no matter what happens in between, never lose the focus. Write it down, put small mistletoe’s you can follow, make small but strong moves and set tasks you can achieve. You can accomplish real things little by little every day and every week. One of my favorite writers on this topic is Daniel Goleman, who says that attention -in one task or in a goal-works much like a muscle. Use it poorly and it can wither; work it well and it grows.
Now more than ever, we must learn to sharpen focus. And, let alone thrive in a complex world. Goleman analyzes attention research as a threesome: Inner, other, and outer focus. He shows why high-performers need all three kinds of focus, as demonstrated by rich case studies from fields that diverse are competitive sports, education, arts, and business. Last, you are going to feel a little bit lost a few times or more, but when you know where you are going, every little thing that happens either good or bad is getting you there. Never doubt it.
GET A SQUAD
The people on your side is primordial to achieve higher and get a good source of criticism. Pay attention to them! Who they are, what they do and usually how their words, good and bad influences you. Find someone who are doing similar things to you. Like-minded people, who have done positive things in the past. Or feels motivated with what you are doing even if they are not doing it. Find people with experiences, forget people with opinions. If you are not too much an outgoing person, I recommend you to read Julian Treasure “How to be heard”. It’s one of the best books I’ve read until now. And this guy studied music so he knows what he is talking about.
ENJOY THE SMALL THINGS
Big goals were set up from small steps and small accountable goals. No matter whether you make many mistakes or you fail, keep in mind that big things require time. Learn to stop and smell the flowers. Like one of my best friends who always preach me. “Beyoncé was not built in one day”. So keep it in mind and celebrate! Life is built on small victories! Realize and move forward. Be aware of the value of celebration as many things would be blurry, uncertain or unsure. When you celebrate the good things your brain reacts on a different way, science and psychology explain it perfectly. So take this advice and make sure you have another reason to have fun on your way up.